Cheap Man's Massage

So I'm at the mall today doing some stuff....see Brookstones and figure I'm gonna go sit and get a cheap man's massage in one of those cool $4k chairs that practically give you a happy ending.

I slide on in....sit down but the thing was so damn complicated I couldn't exactly figure out what was happening. So the girl comes over to help me.....fine....very nice of her.....now go away and leave me to people watch while getting my relaxation in.

NOPE......here it comes....the sales pitch.

I had to cut my cheap man's massage short because she wouldn't stop talking. It was actually more annoying than a real masseuse making idle chit chat because at least that you can sort of grunt through. This pushy bitch was asking all kinds of questions....am I interested, when might I want to buy, etc.

What don't you get Ms. Pushy......I'm just like every other moron that walks in here and sits down to get a little rubbing up their back because there isn't anything more pressing in their life. How many people sit in these chairs and how many people actually buy them? ALOT and NONE are the respective answers.

I don't know one single person I have every come across anywhere that owns one of those damn things so odds are I'm just sitting here and NOW I have to walk out of the store in disgust rather than browse for other items.

Those chairs are like the hot girls standing at the entry way to Abercrombie and Fitch....they just get you in the store so you browse other items.....nobody actually takes them home.