And I had a Bad Day.....

Nope...not about American Idol but that will come......

I’ve said it before and telling you again…I LOVE the grocery store….the workers, the shoppers….SUCH a an opportunity to be humored. I like watching the people ahead of me and behind me to see what’s in their carts and think of what they can be doing with their shit. I love all the food….the millions of possible combinations of what you can do with that food……god I love it.

Well today was the WORST shopping experience ever. Started right in the parking lot and I should have went home. Some old guy was coming my way…there was an empty spot close and although I was closer to it and had dibs he was old. I like being nice to old people as long as it doesn’t cost me much……like my time or nerves. This dude danced with me maneuvering for the spot and I let him have it….SO I THOUGHT. Took me time to get around…ANNOYED. THEN I go to the next aisle looking for a spot and here he comes gingerly making his way around the corner….more dancing…more annoyance…..why the FUCK didn’t he take that other spot. I gave it to him and now I’m dancing with him again. About three more old people driving around that I had to dance with…ANNOYED. I almost left at this point thinking It’s national “All Old People Grocery Shop” day but found a spot and figured it couldn’t get worse.

WRONG…..

Went for a cart….old lady in the way getting her pocketbook and coupons together.
Went for some apples……old lady.
Went for some celery (I’m making delish chicken salad…bit of a cold and I want the chicken broth)….old lady.
Onion…..old couple.
All over the place old people….not JUST old people….very SLOW old people.

THEN it went downhill sort of…….funny after the fact but horrible at the time.

I’m walking down an aisle and I see RP…..RP is the grade school slut. She was banging 19 year olds when she was 12. Where was her mother you might ask????? She was there being proud of RP. Can you say trash? Thing is she road my bus so I actually had a friendly….(not in that way) relationship with her. All the other kids were losers on the bus because my parents sent me to Catholic school and all the cool kids went to public school in my neighborhood.

Now….I have an unbelievable ability to see someone that I knew at one time and recognize them and their name. So I knew RP immediately dispite the horrid hair, the Tammy Faye Baker makeup covering a horrible complexion and the extra 90 pounds. I didn’t say anything at first because I wanted to see if she noticed or seemed to recognize me. I saw her looking at me several times so clearly she noticed me but I looked away…..UNTIL:

I’m dodging an old person, go around the corner and I’m face to face. She’s looking at me so I have to blurt out “RP….my god…how are you”? Turns out she’s looking at me, took a bit and then “XX….wow….i didn’t recognize you at first but you haven’t really changed”. Are you kidding??? She didn’t even know it was me and now I’m stuck talking to her. She was just staring at me because I’m hot. Mother F’in cursed good looks. I stood and talked to this queen of the trailer park and her (seemingly) 50 year old, bald, greasy, toothless husband for 10 mins. Then the rest of the time shopping she’d give me these horrid smiles and all……..

EWWWWW….I’m gonna shower now. BAD Day at the store.