Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Just Need a Title for My New Book

Why NOT???? Everyone else is writing books why shouldn't I?

Goddamn John O'Hurley is writing a book. Quick after his new found fame on Dancing with the DListers John has a book out. And what is said book about you might wonder??? It's about learning life's lessons from dogs.

One excerpt from the book:

“Dogs, after all, have pure hearts, trusting natures, a zest for living, noble characters, and an ability to take things in stride,” writes O’Hurley in the book’s introduction. “They can be counted on, and are pleasant companions. They know what’s important, always. How many humans do you know about which you could say the same?”

Ummmm.....Hey John.....they are DOGs......they just need water, food and a little tummy tickle from time to time to be happy. They don't have to complexity of the human brain that we have to deal with. They also don't have to live in a world full of goddamn buffoons like you. The typical dog has to deal with just their immediate "family" who probably sort of likes him/her....otherwise they'd lose them deep in the woods or sell them to the local chinese establishment. Dogs don't have to deal in a world of idiots where bills need to be paid.

Are you getting what I'm talking about here John?

For instance....your chapter titled Never Miss A Nap. Do you know what happens in the real world if I never miss a nap? I get fired John.

Then there's A Cold Can of Meat is Still a Feast. NO John...it is NOT. I realize that "cold can of meat" is a metaphor probably representing "the simple things in life". Let me tell you something John....when I was in college I used to eat Mac N Cheese because it was cheap...I'd zing it up by throwing some mushrooms in. That WAS NOT a feast. It SUCKED. Now I'm fairly well to do and I eat at Mortons. That is a FEAST.

Is this book targeted toward the jobless and homeless? Hell, I've been jobless for 2 months and I still can't take many naps.



Post a Comment

<< Home