Wow....what an eyeful

The legs look nice but the rest of it I feel like I'm flying over the America at 20,000 feet....there some water, some land, some hills, some valleys.....I think I see a desert. Wait.....is that the world's largest ball of yarn I see????

Alot seems to be going on in that dress Heidi.

As I take another look it appears as if you can see a monster in that dress....two eyes at the breasts area and then a nose and a mouth with a tongue sticking out. I'm not even drunk or high and I see it.

Do your feet always point in that way or just bad luck of the shot?

Bitter

This might sound a little bitter but all I have to say is "thanks Jessica Simpson you bitch, you cost me a super bowl appearance and a few hundred bucks". Tony was doing just fine scoring me a ton of points until you show up at a game.

Any by the way....what was that 'thing' under your nose? Big giant wart looking thing.

This brings me to another point......When I see Jessica Simpson I DO NOT see a hot blonde with a nice body.....I just see a MAJOR pain in the ass. Maybe I'm still scarred from the fact that she couldn't figure out what tuna fish was on that dumb MTV show but I just sense she would be horrible to be around and awful in bed.

One Issue

Ok....Alicia Keys is hot...we can all agree on that. Pretty face, nice curvaceous hips........HOWEVER.....look at the flapjack breasts. What the hell are they? Perhaps you DON'T have curves in all the right places...seem to be missing a few.

Oh well....still hot.

Shouldn't she know better???

Are Hollywood stars really THIS vain?

Why is Halle Berry walking down the middle of the street? Shouldn't she know better? Drugs? Deathwish? Vanity? Stupidity? What's the reason? Seriously, there must be a reason and I want to know which dumb reason is the one.

A stink in Pink

I don't know what Britney is trying to accomplish here but I assume its either a disguise or a fashion statement.

Well Britney if this is your idea of a disguise it clearly wasn't working seeing as there are pictures of you. Did you really think you were going to walk out of your house and all the paparazzi was going to be like "ohhhh, here she comes, here she comes....get ready....oh wait...its just some man with pink hair, nevermind, have to wait longer"? Yes I said Man cause that is what you are looking like these days. Just look at you. If you are trying to make a fashion statement couldn't you afford a wig that doesn't look like you tore the top of a $5 target mop off and threw it on your head?

You really are looking so manly. I'm thinking you took this real estate dude you are with and forced him into relations with you. "C'mon Robert....come into my bedroom and stick it in me....we are going to have each other cause I'm needing it now". He actually looks scared that he is going to have to do this man in pink. I can hear the conversation "really, you can let me out here and I'll walk home"....she's thinking "nonsense, you are coming to my place and I'm going to do you...end of story Robert".

Life Gone Bad

You know your life has taken a turn for the worse when you are "imprisoned" by Boy George. What this means is Boy George locked you in his house and make you his sex slave. This is no man's dream......gay or otherwise.

Looks like the freaking Joker from Batman. Who knew Boy George was a splitting image of Jack Nicholson.

What do you think that is?

Hey Brooke Hogan, that isn't Howard Stern's studio and that isn't a sybian you are riding. Why don't you save your "getting off" for the privacy of your home OR Howard's actual studio?

I think she is looking in the bag for a better attachment.

Best Ways to Break Up

I recently heard of someone famous (can't remember who) texting some random girl that they were sort of dating that they were done. I figured pretty cold but then they weren't really dating.

Mrs. Hulk Hogan's way to break up with the Hulk? Let a reporter tell him that she filed for divorce. NICE. Mrs. Hogan went off to California for 3 weeks. Hulk apparently assumed she was just going for a vacation but NOPE......while there she filed for divorce, much to the surprise of Hulk.

See Hulk, give 'em a little fame and look what happens. Good news is that you can finally start banging all those little hottie Hulk fans....assuming your penis works after the years of steriods.

Hmmmmm did this sleuth detective uncover the reason for your divorce?

Hollywood Walk of Fame

Don't get me wrong, I love the Wizard of Oz. Who couldn't? But when the Lollypop Gang is part of a group that gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame doesn't that somewhat cheapen the respectability of the "honor"?

I remember Howard Stern once saying that he was offered a star and said "when the list of honorees includes people like Judge Judy and Erik Estrada, just keep me off that list". Amen Howard, AMEN. Now the freaking Munchkins.

I captured a quote from one such Munchkin:

"I'm not a Munchkin, I'm an entertainer," Carroll noted. "But the movie is great because we all grew up with it. ... It never dies."

With all due respect Mr. Carroll, perhaps you shouldn't be using the term "grew up" as a munchkin. Maybe terms like 'aged' or 'enjoyed throughout the years', there really isn't any growth for you all.

This was the big secret?

Cmon Neil. Sweet Caroline was Caroline Kennedy? That was the big secret? People waited decades for that? All along I assumed it was some underage Thai prostitute you used to jet across the world to see or possibly an illegitimate daughter born from some hooker you used to maintain relations with .

Actually I never once thought or cared about who the hell the chick was and now that I know I am simply bothered that it's a news item that I have to be bothered by. And now I have visions of morons in a dueling piano bar singing "Sweeeeeet Caroline...whoa ho ho". Great. Day ruined.

Football....football will be on soon. Focus. Focus.

Beyonce Knowles

Is Beyonce bleaching? I saw this picture with a caption that referenced Beyonce performing with Sugarland (whoever the hell that is). I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Beyonce wasn't in the picture....just 3 white chicks. Then I realized the one white girl almost showing cleavage IS Beyonce.

Could be the lighting.

Ewwwww.....

Poor Christina Aquilera....you were hot and now look. Couldn't you adopt? Why didn't you learn something from Angelina Jolie?

Note to you: too much makeup doesn't cover up that "this is miserable" look.

Could we be looking at the next coming of Britney? Will she go crazy like her Disney brethren? Stay tuned folks.

Not Exactly an A Lister

Katharine McPhee is engaged to prominent actor Nick Cokas....19 years her elder. I have no problem with the age difference but cmon Katharine....Nick Cokas???? Ohhh....wait did I say prominent in regards to Nick before??? I meant unknown and never heard of.

Note to Katharine: If you want to vault your going nowhere career you have to marry a music producer at least 25-30 years your elder. See Mariah Carey's path to great riches. You don't have to stay married to him or even like him.

Sexiest Man Alive

People named Matt Damon the sexiest man alive. Whatever....I actually like Matty Boy...as much as I can care for any hollywood dope anyway.

The amazing thing what that the shirtless boy wonder Matty Mc was left off the list as was George Clooney. I figured George had a permanent spot in the top 15 for life. This is an injustice and I'm not sure George will take well to this. I know he and Brad Pitt have been campaigning for Matt Damon but not at the expense of his own spot for god's sake.

My Feng Shui has been off all week because of this and its just now that I'm even able to comment. I might need an early vodka to pull through.

Thought for the Day

I think Owen Wilson should be able to find a girlfriend with larger breasts. He's Owen Freakin Wilson for god's sake.....get some tits man.

This ain't so bad

Zac Efron's thinking: It's a damn thing I'm high. I can do this charity shit stoned. Why does that kid have fire coming out of his fingers. Calm down, its just the acid....its just part of the trip.

Silly Me

So I figured out who you are Guy, Madonna's arm piece. Is she really more masculine and tougher looking than him or is it my imagination....maybe the picture?

Interesting Look

Is Liv Tylers TRYING to look like a drag queen? Can this possibly be here thing?

Was there any doubt that Steven Tyler's daughter would be horrid looking? She was OK in her youth but time was not going to be good to her.

The Prison Look

Not a good look for Lindsay Lohan. She is apparently trying to dress down before spending 84 minutes in jail so she doesn't become someone's bitch. If this is what she really looks like though we might need to rethink just how hot she is.

That'll Show Him

Prince Harry was dumped by his long time girlfriend. Apparently she was tired of his playboy lifestyle and lack of commitment to her. Well there you go honey, that'll show the playboy.....dump him....ie. give the playboy his freedom. Perhaps this is just what he wanted. Perhaps you were just a show for the public so people thought he was responsible and stable.

Fine job lady....you just gave up a Prince and maybe a chunk of money, stardom, etc. Apparently you didn't learn anything from Lady Di. Her and what's his name didn't care about each other but she made out pretty well in that little arrangement. If you could have just hung in there for appearance sake and then make him marry you for appearance sake you could have done VERY well for yourself.

Blew that one sweety. I'm sure there are fine men back in Zimbabwe where you are from. Buffoon.

By the way....if your nose was just slightly more upright you'd have a real pig face....consider that next time you dump a Prince.....Buffoon