Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wow....what an eyeful

The legs look nice but the rest of it I feel like I'm flying over the America at 20,000 feet....there some water, some land, some hills, some valleys.....I think I see a desert. Wait.....is that the world's largest ball of yarn I see????

Alot seems to be going on in that dress Heidi.

As I take another look it appears as if you can see a monster in that dress....two eyes at the breasts area and then a nose and a mouth with a tongue sticking out. I'm not even drunk or high and I see it.

Do your feet always point in that way or just bad luck of the shot?


Monday, December 17, 2007


This might sound a little bitter but all I have to say is "thanks Jessica Simpson you bitch, you cost me a super bowl appearance and a few hundred bucks". Tony was doing just fine scoring me a ton of points until you show up at a game.

Any by the way....what was that 'thing' under your nose? Big giant wart looking thing.

This brings me to another point......When I see Jessica Simpson I DO NOT see a hot blonde with a nice body.....I just see a MAJOR pain in the ass. Maybe I'm still scarred from the fact that she couldn't figure out what tuna fish was on that dumb MTV show but I just sense she would be horrible to be around and awful in bed.


Another Food Day

There was another "food day" in my area. Then I started thinking......"these people are bringing in casseroles, big pans of food, etc. Most of them take public transportation.....do they carry this shit on the bus or trolley? Are they smelling up the place?".

I can just imagine someone carrying a casserole full of little mini meatballs riding the bus. They get up and the bus stops short and there go meatballs flying all over everyone.

I hope food days continue until I see some moron come in with a shirt full of meatballs.


Sleeping on the Job

There are two buildings where I work. They are connected by a bridge on the second floor. In the atrium of the one building is the auditorium and outside the auditorium are a bunch of chairs and couches around in a 'lounge' or 'lobby' like fashion. At any point in time during the day....and especially at lunch.....there are people sitting there sleeping.

There is literally an acceptable nap area where I work. People don't just sit there and close their eyes, they curl up in the chairs.....some even lay across the couches. I once knew a girl who would go to her car for lunch time naps....I thought that was bad....these people have no shame.


Thursday, December 13, 2007

One Issue

Ok....Alicia Keys is hot...we can all agree on that. Pretty face, nice curvaceous hips........HOWEVER.....look at the flapjack breasts. What the hell are they? Perhaps you DON'T have curves in all the right places...seem to be missing a few.

Oh well....still hot.


Shouldn't she know better???

Are Hollywood stars really THIS vain?

Why is Halle Berry walking down the middle of the street? Shouldn't she know better? Drugs? Deathwish? Vanity? Stupidity? What's the reason? Seriously, there must be a reason and I want to know which dumb reason is the one.


Saturday, December 08, 2007

A stink in Pink

I don't know what Britney is trying to accomplish here but I assume its either a disguise or a fashion statement.

Well Britney if this is your idea of a disguise it clearly wasn't working seeing as there are pictures of you. Did you really think you were going to walk out of your house and all the paparazzi was going to be like "ohhhh, here she comes, here she comes....get ready....oh wait...its just some man with pink hair, nevermind, have to wait longer"? Yes I said Man cause that is what you are looking like these days. Just look at you. If you are trying to make a fashion statement couldn't you afford a wig that doesn't look like you tore the top of a $5 target mop off and threw it on your head?

You really are looking so manly. I'm thinking you took this real estate dude you are with and forced him into relations with you. "C'mon Robert....come into my bedroom and stick it in me....we are going to have each other cause I'm needing it now". He actually looks scared that he is going to have to do this man in pink. I can hear the conversation "really, you can let me out here and I'll walk home"....she's thinking "nonsense, you are coming to my place and I'm going to do you...end of story Robert".