Friday, June 29, 2007

Matty Mc watch - Week 2

Well.....People came and there he is. What would the "best summer ever" section be without a shirtless picture of Matty Mc in the mix???

Again me 110 of 130? Not quite the Star Tracks section but the count is at 2.


Ian???? NO WAY

I recently saw that Ian Ziering was one of the front runners to replace Bob Barker. Are you shitting me? Didn't anyone get how creepy and wierd that guy was on dancing with the D Listers?

The others seem to be Mario Lopez and Drew Carey. Drew seems to be a natural sort of fit other than the fact that he is almost too natural and sort of expected.....surprise us with someone different.....let's move beyond Drew. Can't we just face he's jumped the shark and NOT try to get him back on star path?

Mario would sort of be charming and ok maybe but is he seasoned enough at something of that nature to handle that job?

Isn't there ANYONE else out there to handle this? I'm thinking I could do just as well as the clowns mentioned and I have NO experience. I could certainly play the part of sweet guy to all the morons with their dumb signs and stupid shirts.

Fuck it...where do I apply.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Pow Pow

I love it....Rosie's kid in army fatigues stirring up trouble. Its great actually. What's not to love about it. Ms. Controversial's kid dressing up like a soldier, causing an outrage and then her getting to respond by saying "all these kids dying in Iraq and we are worried about a 4 year old".

This is great stuff. Rosie is going to be better off the view on her blog than the was on the view. She's might just keep stirring shit up. I've never been a huge Rosie fan of course but I love the controversy she creates.

By the way, on this one I agree with her....its a kid dressing up. Leave it be. Why you want your girl in army fatigues vs a tutu isn't completely understood but when your mother is Queen Butch of Lesland what would you expect.

Is that June back???

Turned on Rachel today and my how ridiculous she looked. She had a dress an attempt to be dressed in a dressy dress type dress. I won't comment on whether its a nice dress or not, I'll leave that to the more fashionable amongst us. She also had full jewelry and makeup. have a COOKING show. NOBODY cooks like that except June Cleaver. Are you going straight from the show to some big dinner event? Please just wear clothing that is cooking appropriate. You look like a goddamn moron.....oh sort of are a goddamn moron. Oh well....dress away.

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Rachel....Spare Us

While searching for pics of Rachel I found this:

Spare us please....not sure how old these are but cmon...why did FHM have to go there???


The Void has Been Filled

Have you been feeling like you have a void in your life....something is missing but you just weren't sure what? This feeling of want and need but can't put your finger on just what that thing is???

I sure have UNTIL yesterday. Paris is out of we can be graced with her presence in pictures again (ok...not like she was ever actually gone) partying it up with her BFF of the week (note the irony of the final F with the 'of the week'), walking down the street with her cellphone or just on any red carpet she can pay her way onto.

OH BOY the good times are back. I just can't wait to see which club she graces first and with which BFF she does it with.


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The New Home of Ryan and his Fiancee

Where will you live if you are a kid who puts his phone number on Utube and take calls from random girls that want to fall in love? Probably in this lovely trailer park.

Ryan put his phone number on Utube asking girls to reach out to him. He claims to get 70k calls a day. One such girl he has fallen in love with. The wedding date???? 2010 some time WHEN she is 21.

So who posts themselves on Utube in this way? What 18 year old calls him and falls in love? What kind of parents allow aforementioned 18 year old reach out and get engaged to someone with their number on Utube?

TRASH....Trailer Trash.

Only way they aren't living here is if over the next 3 years Ryan finds someone better of the 70k per day he claims. Honey....don't hitch your wagon to that shining star cause he just might find a better piece of trash. You might be a rotten banana peel and he might upgrade to a nice wagon with just a broken handle that could be fixed.


Friday, June 22, 2007


Close one and the count begins.

I notice that EVERY issue of People magazine has to have a picture of Matty Mc without his shirt on. Now you note that I purposely didn't put a picture of him on this posting because if you want to see that just go to Not making it that easy for .....well, nobody is reading this anyway.

Anyhow......this week's issue came and I figured I'm going to start a count and see how high it goes....weeks with Matty Mc shirtless. The magazine came, I leafed through and I thought "oh my, this is going to be a quick little Matty....SHIT, this sucks."

Sure enough on Page 90 of 98 there he is. He showed up in some product section "matty's sunscreen". No Melanoma for Matty.


Twinkle Toes

Old Twinkle Toes.....Baryshnikov as he's known to the free and even not so free worlds was on the today show this morning. I don't know anything about dancing of his sort or dancing of any sort for that matter and I don't really have much to say about him or even care about him but I had two thoughts while watching him today:

1) It must be nice getting to a place where you are the best and a genius at what you do (sort of like me here) cause then it doesnt matter what you do its considered genius. Like Picasso, Michelangelo, etc. Some of the things he was doing in the little clips just seemed utterly ridiculous to me but a) I don't know what I'm talking about re: dance and b) it was Twinkle Toes so to the rest of the world it was genius. I just struggle to see the genius in some of the nonsense.

2) Twinkle Toes invited the world to just whenever, wherever and however you feel. The world is supposed to be a better place if we all do so. I'm pretty sure that is what he said anyway. Now I'm thinking this is a preposterous suggestion but for the sake of my own life and good times I sure hope the world take him up on this. I would love to see more cuckoo's out there flitting about.

Made.... A Dancer

I happened to flip through channels this morning and caught Made on MTV. I was going to flip away and then thought.....why not indulge myself and see what the doof of the day is doing.....boy am I glad I decided to stay. So glad I then set my Tivo for a season pass to catch all episodes.

Today's espisode was a long haired, acne faced rocker kid who wanted to be a ballroom dancer. His Made coach set him up with two other girls from school as his potential partners. At one point Kid Rock has to decide but to add a wrinkle at the last minute the coach brings in some tall, almost pretty (prettier than the other two), trained dancer. Kid Rock has to decide between the tree of them now.

His thoughts on choosing: "I've never had to make a decision that impacted so many people". WHAT Kid Rock? The decision only impacts 4 people....MAYBE 5 if you count the coach. But it impacts 4 people and one of them (the trained dancer) doesn't even really care. THIS is the most people you have ever impacted in your life? DOOF.

Not sure if the producers of Made are onto the fact that everyone watching realizes the people are only doing the Made thing as a joke or to get on TV but in this episode they hit the mockery straight on. The coach goes to the school and asks Kid Rocks friends whether he is serious about the dancing thing. They make a big deal about it, Kid Rock says "no, I AM serious about this....I want this" but for some reason the coach still isn't convinced. Can you imagine that?

The only way the coach can be convinced is if Kid Rock cuts his hair.....BIG NO NO for the rockster. Won't do it.....NO WAY.

After a big dramatic scene Kid Rock decides he needs to show the coach he's serious so off to the salon he goes. His hair is practically down to his ass and he gets 4 inches cut off or something. Hey Kid.....YOUR HAIR IS STILL LONG. I don't think that counts. Buffoon.

So at the end of course he wins the competition. I'm not even sure that the producers don't stage an entire competition just for the sake of the show. I'm pretty sure that competition was never taking place until the MTV people said it would. Then sometimes the 'zero' (no hero) wins and sometimes they lose. Can't have everyone win can we.....might look shady.


Thursday, June 21, 2007

Price is Wrong

So I have to comment on Rosie as the potential next host of the Price is Right. I actually don't care because I don't watch the show anymore. I admit there was a period of my life where I loved watching the show every day.....those quirky little games, silly bob, the gorgeous women, the excitement of that Final Showdown.....what's not to love really ('s 11:30 here...I think I can catch it now as I talk myself into it).....anyway.....

Bob has always been a genuinely nice, likeable guy who seemed to really enjoy the contestants. Rosie is a fake bitch. She will have the people coming on stage and she'll pretend to care and like them but at the end of the day she is all about Rosie. I'm not sure the general public will see through this....they really didn't when she had her talk shows....those housewives ate it up and thought she was actually nice BUT she didn't have to interact with them per se. She had a forum to be all about her and she acted sort of nice.

I think it will be interesting when her primary function is to actually interact with people she thinks she is so much better than. I don't actually care that much but I think its a bad move for the show. They need someone genuinely sweet. Maybe Regis......I'm thinking Regis.

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Tis the Season

Noooooo not to be jolly you fools.....ain't no damn Xmas in June.

Tis the season for the worst Television known to mankind. Last night alone was that dumb inventor show, So You Think you can Dance and America's Got Talent. Problem with this jolly season of the year is the shows are SOOOO bad they are unwatchable.

The Talent Show is horrible. Its simply not possible to sit and watch David Hasselhoff. He's not even mockable.....all I can think of is goddamn Knight Rider.....even when I was 14 I knew that was horrible cheese, talking into that watch of his calling KITT. They couldn't even humor a 14 year old with a hot repair chick for my viewing and self "pleasure". We got this:

What's a 14 year old going to do with that?

The inventor show is the only one that is half decent because there are some real lunatics on that show. I can't remember any right now but they ARE amusing.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Old People Day out at the Grocery Store

Ahhhh one of my favorite topics: old people at the grocery store.

Todays events:
Almost ran into 3 old ladies carts
Almost ran over an old lady in the parking lot
One old man had a big ass cart to carry his 6 inch hoagie in (yes....that is all he bought)
Another old man leaned up against his cane while propped up against an aisle. All I could think of is how many breaks is this old dude going to need to get through and how long does this entire excursion take him.

Goddamn....I'm working out hard tomorrow. I can't be like that.


Ohhhh Dylan...where have you been?

What are the chances of seeing good ole Dylan McKay on TV at the same time on two different channels on two different programs???? They are EXTREMELY rare seeing as Lukey has done not a whole hell of a lot since 90210.

But at this very moment I am watching him on HBO in some show about a guy named john from cincy.....he might be john, not sure yet.....and the classic 1994 bull riding drama 8 Seconds. For anyone who hasn't see this its a rides bull, man falls in love with girl who rides around barrells, man falls off bull....confidence shattered....lashes out against barrell finds himself and conquers fiercest bull and reclaims barrell girl. Classic and I actually liked it when I saw it in 1997.

As far as I can tell about the guy from cincy show a bunch of people like to surf and two guys shit alot. Thats all I've seen in 15 mins.
The dumbass expression on Lukey's face above is the same dramatic expression he talks about "paddling out to get that next wave...just like your father did and his father, your grandfather".
Luke meet John Black....John Black meet Luke....pretty sure you two were separated at birth.

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Subtitles Please

I know these two are princes and should command some respect and all but I tried watching the aforementioned Matt Burns interview these characters and I couldn't understand one goddamn word they said.

I think I caught something about a concert. Next time we interview these clowns can I get subtitles. Nevermind actually, I'll just change the channel, easier for the producers and less pain for me.


Today Show and The Eternal Pam

See the pictures above. Need I even comment. He was interviewing Pam this morning and he was all slunched over in his chair with that Burns old man humped back and all I could think was .......goddamn this little shrimp of a horrible TV host is going to be Burns in 20 years. If there is a Simpons movie with real people he's a shoe in.....just some Hollywood magic to increase the size of the nose.
I guess you can't help him but he was gushing while interviewing Pam. Gees least TRY not to be so blatant. He asked about the sex tape and the kids seeing Borat with the references to the tape and how she handled that, blah blah blah. Again, he was trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism but you could tell he was so getting off on the fact that he had a good excuse to talk sex tape to the woman herself. I think he actually had to wipe the drool from his mouth at one point.

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Back Again....Who Know's How Long

Well my few fans.....whoever comes back...I'm back again for a variety of reasons that don't really need discussed here but life has been interesting....back between gigs and looking for stuff and finding myself and all that happy bullshit but that's neither here nor there as this goes. See my self-psychoanalysis of Me blog coming soon.

Anyway....need an outlet for my humor and i see this shit and I can't help writing it so I'm back. If I get a job it can only get better with the jokers I am likely to come across there.

So Hello again.