Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Just Don't Vote

I’m not proud of this but I have never voted in my life.

Two reasons:
1) All politicians talk in large generalities while saying virtually nothing
2) Seeing as I haven’t voted as of yet I’m actually afraid that I’m going to go to some voting station and get yelled at by some little old man/woman cause I don’t know what I’m doing and taking too much time

Let’s focus on #1.

I’m watching Bush today (the president this time…not porn) and he comes out with his cabinet after his first cabinet meeting of 2007 and he’s spewing off like any politicians talking about priorities for the country while really not saying how any of the priorities will be accomplished. He talks about the new democratic congress and how he looks forward to working with them and knows everyone can work together toward common goals. Blah blah blah……

The best examples of politicians at work are presidential campaign speeches. They all state the importance of fighting terror, keeping our country safe, educating our kids, boosting the economy…….then they all have opposite opinions on gay marriage, abortion and tax cuts. In the first grouping they don’t give you any details of how they will do these things so you can’t even make good decisions on these things. On the latter grouping its all personal preference and I don’t really care on these matters:

I’m not gay, I don’t understand gays, I have no friends how are gay (that I know of) and I simply don’t care……marry, don’t marry, take over your own state or country and go live there…..don’t care about the issue…

Abortion: I’m against it but I could frankly care less what anyone else thinks or does. Not really for govt regulated control of a person but I don’t really care…I make my choices regardless of the govt. For instance…I’m for legalized marijuana use…the govt isn’t but that doesn’t stop me…..I’d like oxy’s to be over the counter but they aren’t…..fine, my grandma has plenty……I think the drinking limit should be raised…its not so I drink at home like a closet alcoholic and I’m fine with that.

So here’s the real point. If I talked like a politician and gathered all my ‘constituents’….let’s say friends, family, coworkers….and told them I just had a meeting with myself and I want to lay out my priorities for 2007 the speech would sound like this:

Great constituents of this most amazing person in this world I welcome you and I want to share with you what I decided is most important for me in 2007…..after much deliberation with myself I first and foremost think its critical for myself to become very wealthy this year….I decided this was the most critical of items on my agenda and the way I will do so is by amassing great amounts of cash as the months unfold I will share more details of my plan to do this but I assure you me and well….me….I’m working very hard on this. Also high on my priority list is to ensure every player on my favorite football team is THE BEST at his position…..seeing as I don’t own the team and I have no control over the finances to purchase the best players this seems like a lofty goal but I’m sure its one I can achieve with all your assistance. I’m not going to work a day this year….this might SEEM to conflict with priority one of mass wealth but I believe its also an achievable goal. I’m going to get fit this year but not in the traditional means of exercise and eating right….who can really give up pizza, beer, and ice cream with my kahula and baileys.

Do we get the point? Let’s state the obvious which is generally unachievable and provide no details as to how this might even begin to happen.

And you wonder why I don’t vote.


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