Maybe Jim Carrey was onto something

Called the 1-800# for my cable company to cancel a service call because I thought my cable box was broken but turns out the cable was just out. This guy gives me a big ole “Hello….how are you? I’m Alfred and I’m great tonight” then Alfred asks me what I had planned for the new year. Seeing as it was Jan 3rd I realized Alfred wasn’t asking me my new years plan he wanted to discuss my 2007 goals. Just what I need….discuss my life plans with some phone operator at the cable company named Alfred but I figured I'd throw out my #1 priority:

Me: well first thing is to find a job.

Alfred: hey we’re hiring like crazy are you more of a fix it guy or a people person

Me (thinking ‘Alfred is wondering if I’d make a better technician or phone operator’: neither, I pay people to fix things and I don’t really like people….so what do you have for me?

Alfred: well they treat us real good here and the benefits are nice

Me (thinking….’Alfred is thrilled with his benefit of free Cinemax to spend those lonely nights’): Great….I’ll consider that

So Alfred actually failed to cancel my service call and some cable guy comes to my door today. I was none too happy because he woke me up from my morning nap. I didn’t have my glasses on because I thought it was going to be quick and I was going to get back to my nap…NOPE…dude hung out for 25mins when I didn’t even have a problem….not lying here folks…that’s not the purpose of my blog….he came at 11:05 and I went back to my bed pissed off at 11:30 cause I had to get up.

My mistake was letting him in to be sure my cable was working since he was there. Well it was working and he’s just standing there…I’m looking at the tv…straining my eyes to see cause I’m all blind without my glasses but I kept figuring he’d leave so I never went to get them.

Me: Alright….seems its all fine

Him: yeah….hmmm….that looks good

Me: yeah…..soooo

Him (interrupting my ‘soooo…’ as if he knew I was trying to get rid of him): yeah…verizon had crews of those Mexicans here digging up…causing us lots of rips in our cable

Me: hmmm…..ohhhh…..sooooo

Him (interrupting my ‘soooo…’ as if he knew I was trying to get rid of him): they don’t even speak English

Me: yeah…..they just sort of were digging huh? Guess English isn’t a prerequisite to dig

Him: yeah

Me: Ok……well

Him: You like the xxx (local hockey team)

Me (thinking there is going to be something related to getting the games in HD or something related to the cable box about the team and there is going to be relevance): Yeah….big fan of hockey

Him: They’re playing good….playing real good lately

Me: yeah….good team

And on the conversation went to the point that I found out he is a certified physical therapist but the people bothered him so he wanted to change careers. This guy must have talked to Alfred. Alfred must have talked to him, told him he was hiring and clearly he was a “fix it” type guy.