Day 4 on the job
There is a little crack that runs between my cube and guy in front of me…..now known as Altoid because that’s the only contact I have with him...the Altoids that sit between us. It was either Altoid or Bald Spot because I also clearly get to see his bald spot….barely see the rest of his face as he spends his time trying to avoid eye contact with him.
Anyway, there is a crack between our cubes where I can see the girl who sits diagonal from me in the next aisle……she isn’t pleasant to look at and every time I happen to look up and catch a glimpse I just see this big mouth with these big choppers going. No idea what she does but her is basically smack dab in my line of sight when I look up and more often than not I get this unpleasant startled look on my face. If she’s catching this look, she must be getting a self esteem problem by now.
Fat guy was downstairs for breakfast this morning…..of course. Walked by fat guy’s aisle. Someone was in his cube so it would have been rude for him to be eating so he chewed on his pen.
There isn’t one place to buy gum in this entire building.
Just got off the phone with my boss and gave him the “ba” that he typically gives me. Damn him.
Altoids just found another 50 people to add into the system. Just in time for annual billing for an additional $12,000 / year. I don’t get THAT excited about 12k. How do you think this $5 BILLION dollar company is going to get excited about $12K. Nice work Altoid.
My boss claims that he works from around 7:30 AM to 8 PM every day. So far this week his hours are as such:
Mon: 8 – 6, had an event with the Mrs.
Tues: 8:45 – 5, wifey was home with the kids and needed some relief
Wed: ?? – 6:45
Thurs: ?? – 5:30? He just stopped over and I’m assuming he’s on his way out.
8 PM MY ASS.
He hasn’t really seen close to 8PM yet. Worst part is I sit nowhere near him so I can’t tell when he leaves to give him the courtesy Boss + 10 departure.
Another Sneeze today….pretty damn loud……nothing from Altoid.
Ok….so there is this 5 layer Chocolate, Chocolate CAKE (capital CAKE) sitting out front of the aisles just sitting there for the taking. This cake has chocolate batter, with chocolate icing and shaved chocolate pieces all over it. I have been avoiding it all day because what am I gonna do???? Go grab a monstrous piece of big fucking cake and sit and devour it……NO…NOT me. I’m a guy but I am a dainty guy….not to be confused with homosexual guy…just dainty. Anyway, it’s 6 o’clock and I walk passed to go to the bathroom and there are these shaving of chocolate with hunks of icing sitting around. So I can’t help myself I go in for some cake. Not with a knife, a fork and a plate……NOPE…go in with my fingers to scoop up some shavings (so I’m only dainty when there are people around…you all are too….all 3 of you) and BUSTED. I get caught looking like a real pig. Oh well.
Speaking of pigs….I know fat guy is just waiting out everyone else so he can scoop the rest of that cake into a bag.
Anyway, there is a crack between our cubes where I can see the girl who sits diagonal from me in the next aisle……she isn’t pleasant to look at and every time I happen to look up and catch a glimpse I just see this big mouth with these big choppers going. No idea what she does but her is basically smack dab in my line of sight when I look up and more often than not I get this unpleasant startled look on my face. If she’s catching this look, she must be getting a self esteem problem by now.
Fat guy was downstairs for breakfast this morning…..of course. Walked by fat guy’s aisle. Someone was in his cube so it would have been rude for him to be eating so he chewed on his pen.
There isn’t one place to buy gum in this entire building.
Just got off the phone with my boss and gave him the “ba” that he typically gives me. Damn him.
Altoids just found another 50 people to add into the system. Just in time for annual billing for an additional $12,000 / year. I don’t get THAT excited about 12k. How do you think this $5 BILLION dollar company is going to get excited about $12K. Nice work Altoid.
My boss claims that he works from around 7:30 AM to 8 PM every day. So far this week his hours are as such:
Mon: 8 – 6, had an event with the Mrs.
Tues: 8:45 – 5, wifey was home with the kids and needed some relief
Wed: ?? – 6:45
Thurs: ?? – 5:30? He just stopped over and I’m assuming he’s on his way out.
8 PM MY ASS.
He hasn’t really seen close to 8PM yet. Worst part is I sit nowhere near him so I can’t tell when he leaves to give him the courtesy Boss + 10 departure.
Another Sneeze today….pretty damn loud……nothing from Altoid.
Ok….so there is this 5 layer Chocolate, Chocolate CAKE (capital CAKE) sitting out front of the aisles just sitting there for the taking. This cake has chocolate batter, with chocolate icing and shaved chocolate pieces all over it. I have been avoiding it all day because what am I gonna do???? Go grab a monstrous piece of big fucking cake and sit and devour it……NO…NOT me. I’m a guy but I am a dainty guy….not to be confused with homosexual guy…just dainty. Anyway, it’s 6 o’clock and I walk passed to go to the bathroom and there are these shaving of chocolate with hunks of icing sitting around. So I can’t help myself I go in for some cake. Not with a knife, a fork and a plate……NOPE…go in with my fingers to scoop up some shavings (so I’m only dainty when there are people around…you all are too….all 3 of you) and BUSTED. I get caught looking like a real pig. Oh well.
Speaking of pigs….I know fat guy is just waiting out everyone else so he can scoop the rest of that cake into a bag.
Labels: Work
posted by The Buffoonery at 5:58 PM
1 Comments:
LOL! I wish I was around to see that.
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