Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Week 2....What am I gonna do???

Yesterday was fairly non-eventful other than being freaked out by the weird tongue mannerism my boss has. It’s Jordan-esque in a disturbing, child predator sort of way. His eyes get big, the tongue comes out in a disturbing pointy fashion when he gets excited as if he’s on to something……”ummm, listen, you aren’t on to anything”.

I talked to Altoid yesterday. He had an application for football tickets on his desk and I couldn’t help myself. He was friendly, chatted up a bit about football and that was it for the day from him.

We have a lot of snow today. Most people used this as an excuse not to come in but I made the trek. I spend about 4 hours a day making up nicknames for professional golfers. I’m in a fantasy golf league because I need something to occupy my time with at work and its more fun calling people by nicknames than real names. Its juvenile but its what I do…….for instance one guys name is Jeff Quinney….we named him Pooh….Quinney the Pooh. Another guy is Chris Dimarco….we named him D’Polo and now every time an announcer says Dimarco, I can yell D’Polo and take a drink of beer……OK, I realize this doesn’t sound as fun when you’re reading it but trust me, I sit and giggle all day long at my desk making this shit up and thinking about how I can use it.

Had a meeting today, walked in and here comes this guy…..what? Did you say your name is Rob……don’t you know me? Is that you??? See in college there was this guy named Rob O…..he was a freshmen roommate of two of my best friends. He was the most disgusting guy I have ever laid eyes on. He had zits on top of zits on top of craters already cooked into his skin. He was an ROTC guy so in addition to the worst complexion I’ve ever seen he also had a shaved head with acne there. Rob was a nice guy but he was pretty dumb, had these weird mannerisms and way of speaking……add in the fact you couldn’t sit with him at the dining hall because it was basically impossible to look at while digesting and the annoying ROTC “hoo-rah” yells all the time for NOOOO reason and Rob was just a guy you didn’t want to be around…….nice guy….just no reason to be near him. So here I am in this meeting and a guy named Rob with all the same mannerisms, same voice, same stupid way of interjecting poor login in conversations………same horrible complexion minus the zits on top of zits (which would be expected of a mid 30s guy)…….SOOO surreal that it was Rob O without being Rob O.

Dumb boss….I need a nickname but I’m stuck on who he looks like and don’t want to commit yet. If he doesn’t stop that tongue thing he will simply be the Tongue. Anyway, we are in the middle of ice storms and biggest snow of the year…supposed to continue through the night. We were supposed to have a meeting at 3 but everyone was leaving early so the people we were meeting with requested we reschedule. Reasonable request. What does dumbass do??? Reschedules for 8:30 in the morning. Hey dummy….there is a good chance the weather is going to SUCK tomorrow….why not schedule for 10ish…make sure they get in. We’ll meet Thursday I’m assuming.



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