Misattempt to Remain Relevant: J Lo and Markie
A new feature here at The Buffoonery is the reporting on poor attempts by has beens to remain relevant. Our first misattempt goes to J Lo and Markie.
J Lo and Markie have begun the process of promoting their new film El Cantante. El Cantante is a film about Hector Lavoe who is credited for starting the Salsa 'movement' in 1975 and bringing it to the US. Didn't you learn from Gigli that nobody wants to see in a movie with your man of the half decade. Actually, nobody wants to see you in a movie at all J Lo.
Markie obviously plays Hector and I can only assume J Lo plays some dumb Ho that Hector falls for while she aids him in the development of the salsa "movement" (sort of makes me want to have a movement just thinking about it). SO, we have a movie based in the mid 70s....first problem. The only movies that should be set in the 70s should revolve around drugs or the mob....period!!!! Who (out of the sate of Florida and certain pockets of NY) wants to see a movie about the Salsa movement. Second problem is that I assume we (by we, I mean those in florida and certain part of NY who actually see the movie......I wouldn't be caught dead) anyway, we are going to have to watch J Lo shake that big ass of hers for 90 mins. This is the heart of her thinking she can be relevant.....she THINKS the world wants to see that ass and this is the movie her public has been waiting for......J Lo, we're over it......Marky, we were never interested.
Can we just get this released to DVD so we can mock it at a reasonable cost.
Honorable mention for first Misattempt to Remain Relevant go to: Lisa Rinna for making her hubby get on Dancing with the Stars. He was horrible. Madonna also receives honorable mention for her little cruxifiction routine. Madonna, you aren't a young, rebellious teen/pop idol anymore, you are old.....deal with it and have some class and grace.
J Lo and Markie have begun the process of promoting their new film El Cantante. El Cantante is a film about Hector Lavoe who is credited for starting the Salsa 'movement' in 1975 and bringing it to the US. Didn't you learn from Gigli that nobody wants to see in a movie with your man of the half decade. Actually, nobody wants to see you in a movie at all J Lo.
Markie obviously plays Hector and I can only assume J Lo plays some dumb Ho that Hector falls for while she aids him in the development of the salsa "movement" (sort of makes me want to have a movement just thinking about it). SO, we have a movie based in the mid 70s....first problem. The only movies that should be set in the 70s should revolve around drugs or the mob....period!!!! Who (out of the sate of Florida and certain pockets of NY) wants to see a movie about the Salsa movement. Second problem is that I assume we (by we, I mean those in florida and certain part of NY who actually see the movie......I wouldn't be caught dead) anyway, we are going to have to watch J Lo shake that big ass of hers for 90 mins. This is the heart of her thinking she can be relevant.....she THINKS the world wants to see that ass and this is the movie her public has been waiting for......J Lo, we're over it......Marky, we were never interested.
Can we just get this released to DVD so we can mock it at a reasonable cost.
Honorable mention for first Misattempt to Remain Relevant go to: Lisa Rinna for making her hubby get on Dancing with the Stars. He was horrible. Madonna also receives honorable mention for her little cruxifiction routine. Madonna, you aren't a young, rebellious teen/pop idol anymore, you are old.....deal with it and have some class and grace.
posted by The Buffoonery at 10:34 PM
1 Comments:
hahahahaaa
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