Thursday, February 15, 2007

Another Grand Day

Yesterday was a snow day. You’d think that would make a guy happy but I get paid by the day as a consultant so not actually happy. See when you tell your boss you are going to work from home and you charge by the day…..a day’s work better look good. At work I can sit here all day and fake it by pretending I had distractions. If I’m distracted at home that I’m doing my own shit and I’m not working.

This has been a good morning. For the past 3 weeks my keyboard has been hindered by a space bar that was not functioning on the right half. My right thumb had to stretch to the left side of the space bar to get the ‘space’ in. Today I took off the space bar and fixed the problem. No more spelling errors as a result of running words together….this is HUGE.

I said good morning to some guy that sits by me and Altoid thought I was talking to him so gave me a less than enthusiastic “good morning”…..just when I thought we were making progress.

I’m pretty busy at work these days so really just sort of crunching heads down on a presentation but certainly there are a few moments here and there of amusement.

Turns out the ugly girl I can see through my cube is the sister-in-law of a buddy of mine. I’m not going to tell her I know her though. Then I’d have to make small talk all the time. I’m thinking I can go years if need be without recognizing her as someone I know. I thought she looked familiar but didn’t think it was because I have actually met her before.

My boss asked me if I wanted to grab lunch. I said sure seeing as I only have one friend in this place and he is usually too busy for lunch. He’s one of those technology guys that actually does 75% of the back end work of the business while the rest of us sit around to get in his personal queue of priority. The other 125 IT people apparently don’t know anything.

Anyway, I was having lunch and this was the second time I noticed his disturbing eating habits. He cuts his foot, then his hands shake crazily while trying to get the food on his fork and continue shaking until he gets the food in his mouth. Once the food is in his mouth it’s as if nothing ever happened and he just goes about chomping away all steady handed. WEIRD and I’m NOT exaggerating this.

Did I mention how happy I am that my space bar is fixed? WOW…night and day people. If I wasn’t so afraid of completely breaking it to the point of not being able to use it at all I would have done it a long time ago.

So I had my first big meeting today with various people on our big program. I was by far the youngest in the room…..all the rest of the business initiative leads were around 45. There is a culture in this company of keeping people and pushing them into a corner when they become useless…..everyone else just says “yeah, how about John…whats that poor bastard working on”? I’m pretty sure the room was full of those people.

There were 8 people in the room counting me. There were 2 sweaters from the 70s, 1 sweatshirt from the 80s, 1 guy looked like he just changed out of his Hells Angels leather and then my boss in a sportscoat. The Hells Angel had a pretty decent sized gut and I could actually see the markings in his belt where he was one time 2 belt holes smaller. I’m thinking there are at least 3 pickup drivers here, probably 2 Accords and one IT guy who drives might drive a Mustang (he actually was in his 20s probably). Of the 8 I’m betting 3 definite smokers…good chance 4. I’m sitting there with my nice Mont Blanc pen taking notes and there were 2 bics, 1 papermate, a Roller Ball pen and a standard #2 pencil being used by my brethren.

All the while I’m listening to my strategic minded, MBA educated boss discussing his theories with a bunch of mid-40s, stuck at their ceiling in their professional life, Community College graduates. Add in a little fart by the guy next to me and the meeting was a hoot.



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