Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Screwed by the Bread

So I was at the grocery store the other day and the moment I had waited a full week for was upon me. I walked by the registers scouting out the lines and there he was….my boy George (Yes I really want to hurt you you goofy bastard…..Boy George reference, get it?). My lucky day. He was just finishing up with the person in his line so I was ready to pounce and quiz him…..on the VPs. I just had to see this buffoon make an attempt at the VPs or squirm in discomfort due to his inability to properly recall history (being the history buff he claims to be).

So I’m ready to pounce on George….he wouldn’t know what hit him (Prior Post for those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to). I can see the thoughts going through his head as I pounce “Who is this man, coming out of nowhere, trying to make me uncomfortable on a subject I clearly excel in….test me will you Mr. Buying-Some-Apples guy….why am I being tested like this???” (why the hell do I feel like I’m a serial killer in a James Patterson book???). So I’m ready, George is not ready, I go to turn….Wait, hold everything….I’ve forgotten the bread…Damn I need bread. How will I eat my toast if there is nothing to toast tomorrow? What will I dip in my over-easy eggs??? Ok, I’ll race to get bread, its right here, no problem. GODDAMN they don’t have the kind of bread I usually buy and now I have to make another decision but I don’t have time for decisions, someone is going to get in George’s line and then it’s going to be another week before I can pounce. Oh boy, oh boy, remain calm……Ok I’ll take this bread now hurry back and OF COURSE, someone in the line. Hmmmm…..yep, they have a lot of stuff. Dammit, I’m not waiting on that moron who appears to be buying groceries for a small village outer Mongolia.

Looks like George bought himself another week to study. That prick is going to pay for this, I might just ask about Secretaries of State too or names of each of the first ladies.
By the way, for anyone (all 5 of you) reading this, YES, my mind really does work this way. If I put half as much thought into my job I’d be f’ing CEO of this dump.


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