Tuesday, February 27, 2007

And Another Grand Day

We had a team meeting today with about 12 of the people on our team. A few things of interest came out. One of the people on the phone said ‘but we don’t really understand how that will work’. I looked across the table to one of the other team members and she just smirked and shrugged her shoulders as if to say….”yeah, it really is that bad”.

Dummy has been working on a strategy for 9 months and his own team doesn’t have a clue what they are doing. He started the meeting by telling each of the team members that he needed them to help him sell the program……..halfway in they are asking what exactly the program is….good question AFTER 9 months.

Then dummy goes on to talk about breaking the projects out into 2 phases because he doesn’t want to show the program as a $45million nut. Good idea dummy…..OHHHH, and how about the fact that phase 2 is based on a MAJOR assumption of an enterprise ERP system that NOBODY is even thinking about. For Dummy to start his phase 2 this company would have to have an enterprise ERP system in place and there isn’t a sole here responsible for even starting to think about that.

Dummy has given me an idea for a much needed website. I can’t get over trying to figure out who he looks like so I’m thinking of a website http://www.lookslike.com/. I’m envisioning a site where I can go in and say…..judge from nightcourt, gary busey, canker face, blonde hair, beatty eyes, sunken in side of face and out spits the guy I’m thinking of. One huge database every b-list actor imaginable with characteristics that can be used to pull out. See….Dummy looks like a cross between these two (guy in the right on the second pic):

I’m sitting in my meeting and noticing once again how horrible everyone’s clothing is. I’m sitting amongst lifelong cube-dwellers. They have all max’ed out on their success. One guy is over here all cheery all the time…..I call him Curious George cause he looks like a 47 year old happy go lucky monkey. Curious George is sitting next to Harley….he’s the rough, tough looking guy that looks like he just got off his bike. Curious George and Harley AREN’T hanging together. Curious George is probably going to bingo with his mommy at the firehall, Harley is slugging down Pabst Blue Ribbons at some house that looks like it should be condemned but is actually a bar.

The rest of the team is uneventful.

There is a woman in the office I’ll call Easy. I call her easy cause she dresses like a whore. She’s in her early 40s but clearly trying to hang on and thinks she’s 20. She is always in skin tight outfits…..well almost…..I saw her one day and she was wearing comfy clothes (khakis and a normal sweater)…figured she was out whoring around the prior night and just was hung over….next day…same thing and the next the same….3 days in a row. I came to the conclusion it must have been her Period week. No other explanation for it cause the following Monday, right back to the whore clothes. Last week she had on this SKIN TIGHT blue dress that she should not have been wearing…maybe 25 pounds ago but not now. I had to go over and get something off a printer by her desk and you could see waves of blue back flab coming from that dress. I thought I was in the damn ocean…..wanted to go surfing.



Post a Comment

<< Home