Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Dancing with the D-Listers: A new Season

Hey…It’s me again….Sorry I’ve been gone but I live in FUCKING hell right now. More on that later but let’s just say I'm not a fan of working.

Anyway…this is about the new season of Dancing with the D-Listers….what better to inspire me.

The cast and thoughts on first night:

Ian What’s his face from 90210: Hi I’m actor Ian “whats his face from 90210” best known for playing Steve on 90210……”ummm, Ian, you are ONLY known for playing Steve….you have NEVER done anything else”. I think he only agreed to this so he could dance with Cheryl….he’s all over her and she doesn’t seem pleased. Ok well he also did this to try and be relevant again.

Paulina past supermodel: I have no thoughts…she’s a snooze…I assume she was a supermodel in the 60s by the looks of the stretched out plastic skin face.

Billy Ray Cyrus: WHAT WAS THAT? You CAN'T do a country dance and pass it off as ballroom. Even I know that doesn't work.

Leeza: if you are 55 you are pretty hot. If you are 40 you are haggard.

Joey FATone: You ARE fat. You are a cheap mans John Travolta in his prime. You are fat, GREASY and cant move……yet somehow the judges love you and your name alone is going to carry you……Good job Fat One.

Ms. Ali: ummmm…better call her Ms for fear of getting beat. Pretty face….but she’s a BOXER…….she uses her boxing foot movement to translate to dancing but end of day she’s a big meaty boxer trying to dance.

Cliff: The old charming guy of the season is Old and he IS charming BUT…..he’s too chubby. Has all the elements of the past old charming guys but his belly gets in the way. Poor chubby guy can’t pull off dancing.

Random Miss USA winner: I think its great how they paired her with a 13 year old dancing protégé………..WHAT? he’s an adult male? But he’s 4 inches shorter than her and looks a lot smaller. OOOHHH that doesn’t work.....doesn't work at all. If she was paired with a studly guy she might have a bit of a chance but her partner looks 6 which makes her look like an amazon. Not working for me.

Clyde: Sorry Clyde…..you aren’t Jerry or Emmitt. If you were Magic you’d be a write in to the final 3 but Clyde just doesn’t have the name recognition.

One Leg: YOU BITCH. FUCK YOU. You can’t take a Beatle for half his money and try and win over the American public. I don’t know what happened with Sir Paul but FUCK YOU. I give you no credit for dancing on one leg. Someone should take that leg off and beat you with it. As far as I’m concerned taking a Beatle for a ride on one leg is grounds for stoning….you certainly don’t deserve this. Hope you stick around just to enrage me……. whew.......that exhausted me.

Apolo – I like this dude….you aren’t gonna see me say many nice things about dudes on this blog but this is a guy I have liked in the past. Watched him in the Oylmpics and think he’s a cool guy. Pulling for him.



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